There is always a subtle urge in each and every heartbroken person to find a solitary place where there is no obnoxious ambiance of seeing the only person you can’t be with (because you parted ways). It is quite evident especially during the first few months of your “parting.” Hard as it may be, sometimes, you’re also the only one trying to reach out, and keeps on wondering whether the chance of being together can still and would still matter. What’s the whole point therefore?
I think this is a coping mechanism that is innate in each and everyone of us, especially if we really want to move on. We always hope for the best of ourselves knowing that we are still under trauma and looking for someone to shelter us in times we needed comfort. Thus, it is unavoidable, inevitable. The only thing I guess wrong with this is we still keep running away even if in the end, we know that a part of us is tearing every time we take a step further. This is necessary, I think. The quote at least I can make out of this will be touching down on the perspective of an engineer, or foreman. “How can you possibly make a new building without obliterating the old one, completely?” This goes to show that our prowess in handling matters, problem with relationship, issues with friends, etc. is challenged. This ought to make us stronger and allows us to become a new person.
A friend of mine, Kuya Julian once told us after a defeat in a tourney to “pick up the pieces and move on.” I think that in itself is a new approach of creating a new building. Just like how Saint Paul’s Cathedral was built. The engineer took a stone slab which says from this stone, “I shall rise again.” It is a form of creating new buildings from old materials left and taken from the previous building. I like that idea. In fact, I would like to consider taking my past with me, even if it hurts, to my new future. I want to hold on to memories that would still fuel my desires, passions, and dreams. I want to hope further. I want to live-up the attitude of being positive, even if it means losing somethings I hold dear because of my anticipation. I guess this is the trade-off. For you to attain something you think worthy, you must let go of a few blocks that buffer you from moving further. Ironic as it may sound, we are capable of adapting. I think this is a noteworthy characteristics of Human Beings.
So, I guess this is the end of reminiscing my 6 months. I still have to take my NMAT. But one thing is for sure, I still am in love with my ex. I have to accept that. Together with the fact that being together again would be hard, in fact, almost impossible. Let me hope for a while.
Now Playing: Glee’s Cover (Bootleg) – Rumour Has It and Someone Like You by Adele.
This used to be one of the songs we love to listen together.
(the new beginning)