A Selfish Bloke

It may be true that I am a selfish bloke. Bloke is, in fact, a very shallow term to use for the likes of me. I wish for you to call me a bastard. At least, from there, I know you vented out. You made your impression, you granted your wish, you made yourself happy. From now on, I have nothing to hold on. My hopes, my dreams, my letters that i wish to tell you everyday. I wish to write to you everyday. But you told me I’m a selfish bloke, a nagger, someone who simply can’t cope to your lifestyle. Those are true and untrue. I have my life, you have yours. Because when I told you I love you, I thought you listened, I thought it sank to your depths that what I told you was real. It was my own infatuations all along. Yes, you agreed and reaffirmed that the past 6 months was real. You even pointed out that our relationship is a WAS. Cool, I get that. But Did you think that even if this was the case, all the meanings we’ve put on those moments are now gone. Yes, I am a selfish nagger. But sooner or later I  could’ve changed, if only you talked to me. But no, you decided to end it, as easily as how you’ve thought of it.

“Plain and simple.” I get that, again. “You try to blame others for it.” I get that, again. But thanks, now I have my simple forgiveness. One I have longed for quite some time now. Thanks a lot. It was the best 6 months, and I won’t forget you. I hope, again, that we carry these memories, because even if we just remain as friends, your coldness and awkwardness will always be there. I’m sorry we have to burden ourselves with these feelings. I should’ve forgotten becoming your beau. Again, as what we are right now and before our relationship, FRIENDS, is more easy to maintain, rather than being in a relationship. See you around, and don’t put malice in my hugs, soft punches, and touches. Be at ease with my presence, and please look at me with a little sense of dependence, so that I know I am needed, I WAS needed.




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